Whirlwind

I was stagnant but still searching
I was on the brink of losing hope
And then all of the sudden you hit me
Like a semi going 80 miles an hour
The time we've spent seems like a season
Each day you give me strength to keep going
My feelings are changing drastically
And I'm enjoying every moment of this
Baby "You've got a love like woe,
And it feels like it don't makes sense"
You've got me at a loss for words
So I write them down to show you now
You've given me a new take on life
And I don't ever wanna let you go
I look to the heavens with the utmost appreciation
To have been given this opportunity

We're Just Children Breathing

It hasn't been that long,
Time hasn't gone so far,
Can we just fast forward time,
Until we cross paths again,
This  strong feeling I have,
The way you make me feel,
That way your lips move,
It's just so mesmerizing,

If we were kids in kindergarten,
Then I'd give you my juice box,
Oh, if we were kids in kindergarten,
Then I'd give up my swing for you,

Oh, This childlike feeling,
It's starting to take hold of me,
These simple joys in life,
Of holding hands with you,
It takes my breathe away,
Never have I felt this way,
And darling I have you to thank

10/18/11 - Im all smiles

I have to tell this story first to tell another! I made a second Facebook account awhile back to make sure my normal account settings lined up and were legit! This account was a dumby account with absolutely no friends! 

So the other day I get a FB notification on the dumby account that someone wanted to be friends! So I go to the page and it's an incredibly pretty girl! So I go ahead and accept the friend request so I can add her in my real page to see who she really is! So I add her, she accepts and we begin talking today! She stumbled upon my page because she was deleting old emails that she never read! She somehow came upon my email from a year ago relating to eHarmony! And honestly I wasn't in the beat situation spiritually a year ago! Im alot better now though. So we begin conversation and I find out she has the sweetest personality, she attends a pentacostal church and goes to an Assemblies of God young adult thing. She's super pretty and I'm really starting to get interested in her! She's really goofy and random like me! We both meet each others standards. It's kinda weird how this all stumbled together. Idk what to think of it right now. But I'm really enjoying getting to know her!    

The Stand (Swagger Weekend)

So basically I'm gonna give you a rundown of my awesome weekend at a church retreat with New Life called The Stand. If you want a short version you may skip to the bottom(#lazypeople)

The theme was Swagger and building confidence! I didn't really go into the weekend with a purpose for being there other than spending the weekend with some close friends I've made over the past two months.

Friday -
Worship was really good! I felt the pressence of God come upon me. Then Pastor Rick taught about swagger. The message really hit home when he said that God is going to use us in the place where were most afraid. I realized that we can't hold onto the ties of what we want to do, we have to do what GOD wants us to do. Then capture the flag after dark was awesome! :)

Saturday -
We had breakout sessions I went to: getting over your past, The Holy Spirit, and Swagger! Basically after going to all three! I realized that the Holy Spirit is our 'helper' and he's there to help give us the swagger to overcome our past and let go of hurts that we've dwelled on for too long.
Then the team games were awesome, we had a dance off at the end which was totally legit!

And then came the best part about this weekend, and quite possibly the best moment in my life up until this point! We had some intense worship, it was totally legit! I've never felt the pressence of god hit me like that! 'sidenote' I have some financial problems I've been dealing with, then during worship I actually heard the audible voice of God when a small moment if my financial problems tried to hit me! God told me ,"Just give it all to me, I'm in control!" I almost began to cry at this point! Then towards the end we had an altar call and I went up to one of my team leaders to be prayed for something I've been struggling with for years now that I've never told any of my friends cus I was too ashamed of it. And God used this moment to show me that he is in control of our lives, and he's here to help if we just let him! At this point of the altar call I began to ball my eyes out, (yes!! real men cry), because of the overcoming/ rushing peace I felt about everything going on in my life! Then I had the opportunity to be re-baptized! When I hit the water and came up to take take my breathe again I felt completely brand new! Like I was on fire for God! (it was super cold by the way) 
These two moments combined on Saturday night are definitely the best thing that's happened in my life.

Sunday -
We ate breakfast, had alone time with God, and then team time to go over the weekend! Then we left!

Summary-
I had an awesome time worshiping God, made new good friends, and one significant close friend, had fun with all the games, and I got re-baptized! It was definitely legit!!   

My Testimony

Okay so here goes! Not alot of people know this and this is an easy way of getting my testimony out. First of all i grew up in church so ive always had that as mu background. So when I was about 19 I had my first car wreck! And honestly it was kinda bad I wish I could find the pictures of my car, but anyways! I totalled my car and in the wreck my head hit my window and I had a big goose egg and was slurring my words all day! I probably had a cuncusion but I never went to the hospital. I personally feel I had a gaurdian angel protecting me that day! It 'wasn't my time yet.' Then a few years later I got mixed in with the wrong crowd! The first time I drank I blacked out and couldn't remember anything... I was at this girls house and barely new her and her friend. So she called my friends cus she basically didn't care that I had alchohol poisoning and was throwing up everywhere and she just wanted me out of her house. So my friends come to get me and I was told when they got there I was lying on my back choking on my puke... Those girls didn't even look after me... But my good friend Casy pretty much saved my life! I was at a far standpoint from God at this point. Then about a year later I got really close to God! I was all-in and turned a complete 180 on life! Then I got mixed up with the with a church crowd that 'partied' so I started drinking again and smoking pot and popping pills. I basically turned my back on God... I had convinced myself that living the party life was my lifestyle and I only went to church because I didn't want to get slack from my parents... I was in a total dark place. Far from God... Wrapped up in sin... My family finally figured out what I was doing and surprised me with a meeting with my young adult pastor about six months ago! I was shocked at first! And angry at the same time... I didn't want to go. I convinced myself I was set in my ways... I had a taste of the good life and I didn't want to let go. but after the talk I realized my parents were only trying to help. So I slowly came to realize that what i was doing was indeed wrong and I had to stop! I need to make that 180 turn again before I ended up killing myself. Almost like that first night I started drinking. I look back on all this and can't believe how far away from God I was! And now I thank my family for turning me back around again onto the straight and narrow path! I don't want to turn back to my wicked ways. I wanna live my life for God! I personally feel that God placed me on this earth to make a difference in teenagers lives! To show them that life isn't all about having fun and living in the moment. It's about doing what's right no matter the cost! Because the wages of sin is death! And I've had came as close to that as possible I think without slipping away!
 
And to my parents, if your reading this I want to thank you so much for caring for me and setting a good example! I love you guys!

And to whoever may be reading this! May this be a light in your dark moments! May this be a testimony to shed insight on your future decisions! We all have choices! We all know right from wrong! It may feel good in the moment, but the consequences are far greater than you could ever imagine.

Thanks for reading!

If you ever need help please feel free to txt or call me at 501-772-4071!

My God is great! :)